Tom's most common complaint was that he was tired of listening to Melissa complain. When her complaints changed nothing and got her nowhere, Melissa herself finally grew tired of complaining. She didn't like the person she had become, so she decided to try a new strategy. She would look for the good and become the most positive, optimistic, upbeat person she knew.

On the very first day of trying out her new self, her new plan paid big dividends. She quickly discovered that being positive allowed her to share her private thoughts that she had never spoken aloud before, albeit with a positive twist that she would attempt to talk herself into believing. It wasn't easy, but if she could do this, she could do anything, and she would become the most cheerful person in town in no time!

"I love your musk," she told him that evening.

"I'm not wearing any musk," Tom said with a sneer. "You know I detest cologne. Leave that for the girly men."

"I know," Melissa agreed. "I mean your natural musk after working at the garage all day and when you don't take a shower before you come over. It reminds me of buck scent, or goats who pee all over themselves to attract hot goat babes."

Melissa knew all about buck scent because Tom sometimes wore that during hunting season. "Why wash it off," he asked, "when I'd just have to reapply it tomorrow?" It was the most pungent aroma she had ever smelled, and she gagged whenever Tom got too close with it, so she would hold her breath as long as she could, then find an excuse to step away for a moment, long enough to take a few deep gulps of air from a distance.

Tom's second most common complaint was about Melissa's cooking. "These alligator tacos could use more avocado," he mused over dinner, "and the ice in the grape juice is a little too cold."

"I love your attention to detail," Melissa replied, "and the fact that you're willing to eat avocados, that you don't say they're only for girly men anymore."

Tom found so much love and affirmation and cheerful positivity disorienting. Every time he turned around, there was more love just waiting to knock him off his feet, putting him in unfamiliar territory, which made him feel like he wasn't in control anymore, and that made him grumpy.

"Will you please stop saying you love everything?!" Tom shouted.

"You certainly know when enough is enough!" Melissa replied, skillfully avoiding the word 'love'."

"You certainly don't!" Tom accused, pointing a finger in her face.

Melissa drew in a sharp breath. An astonished look crossed her face. An epiphany lit up her brain. "You're right!" she whispered as she abruptly realized the truth. The truth that had been kicking her in the shins for three years, trying desperately to get her attention. "I don't!" The past three years of dating Tom flashed through her mind. All the crap she had endured, and for what???

Brand new possibilities began to flat through her mind - or rather, one new possibility flashed through her mind over and over, in full color, like a string of Christmas lights. She could leave Tom. She could be with someone else, or be alone! Any other option would be better than this!

"Okay, I learned. Now I do."

"Do what? I hate how you always have full-blown conversations in your head and then expect me to read your mind when you bring me in to the tail end."

"Now I know when enough is enough," she explained. "And I just realized what I like best about you."

Ever ready to hear a compliment, ever eager to reinforce his arrogant belief that he was great and everyone else was the problem, ever hungry to punch the much deeper belief that he wasn't good enough in the face, Tom paused and put his next complaint on hold. "Oh yeah? What's that?"

"I love...," Melissa began, "when you leave."

"Because you miss me?" Tom asked with a charismatic smile. "Because you realize how much you love me and how great I am, and absence makes the heart grow fonder?" he prompted.

"The opposite, actually. Now please make yourself lovable and vamoos."

"Ha ha," Tom replied, unsure of what else to say. "Very funny."

"I'm serious," Melissa said, standing up from the table and waiting for him to do the same.

"What's gotten into you?" Tom asked, lifting his fourth alligator taco to his mouth.

"Would you like more avocado on that?" Melissa asked.

"Yes, please!" he replied, putting it back on his plate and handing it to her.

Melissa took the plate, stepped into the kitchen, and dumped to the whole thing into the garbage can.

"Looks like we're all out of avocados," she said flatly, setting the plate back on the table. Tom looked down at the empty plate, then up at Melissa with a confused look plastered across his face.

"Go," Melissa ordered, nodding her head toward the door impatiently.

"You're crazy," Tom said slowly, still trying to figure out what was going on.

"I certainly was!" Melissa agreed. "Whew! I'm glad I got over that!"

"Go!" Melissa ordered more loudly when Tom still hadn't budged.

Tom stood slowly, the confused look lingering in his eyes, and took one furtive step toward the front door.

"Ew!" Melissa exclaimed, taking an abrupt step back when he leaned forward for a goodnight kiss.

"You're weird," he merely observed then.

"Okay."

And then Tom stepped out the front door and out of her life and I'll update this story with a better ending line when I think of one.